Baby Yoda watching an X-rated Mandalorian film

The dust floats in the air. No one occupies this wasteland.

But not for long. A lone fully-armored Mando — MANDALORIAN 1 — enters the scene, standing still. He waits. In the horizon, a blur heads toward him. Mandalorian 1 observes the blur.

The blur renders into the shape of a human, another fully-armored Mandalorian— this is MANDALORIAN 2.

The two Mandalorians stare from their visors across the wide chasm between them.

Mandalorian 1: At last, the duel I’ve been waiting for. 12 years have flown by. And here we stand.

Mandalorian 2: I’ve been waiting for this all my life. After 12 years, we stand here to decide our fates.

They hold up their pistols.

Mandalorian 1 fires. But he misses.

Mandalorian 2: Heh, coward. My turn.

Mandalorian 2 fires. But he misses.

Mandalorian 1: I will end you.

Mandalorian 1 shoots again but misses.

Mandalorian 2: What are you waiting for? End me. A dishonored warrior can fly no longer. Free me of my shame.

Mandalorian 1 throws down his pistol.

Mandalorian 1: Then you end me. Do the honorable thing and end me.

Mandalorian 2: Coward, you raise your pistol and end me. Do the honorable thing. A shameful warrior cannot live.

Mandalorian 1: It will break my honor to end you.

Mandalorian 2: Forget that pledge we made.

Mandalorian 1: I have not forgotten it. I will not breach what we have vowed years ago. We swore we would be side-by-side for battles, side-by-side into the afterlife.

Mandalorian 2: You know we can’t. Our Clans have histories of acrimony between each other. You know we can’t. It would break my honor if I were to betray my clan.

Mandalorian 1: Then try and break our pledge.

Mandalorian 2 raises his pistol.

Mandalorian 2: 12 years and you come back into my life. And you tell me that we’re still bound to each other. And then you live me alive in a duel, leaving me in shame. You betray your own sharpshooting for a pledge that cannot be.

Mandalorian 1: My gun missed you… because I miss you. And you know it. And you know that your gun missed me… because you miss me.

Mandalorian 1 walks straight up to Mandalorian 2′s gun, stares into it then gingerly lowers the gun. Mandalorian 2 drops it.

Mandalorian 2: So this is how it ends. Both of us in shame.

They step each close to each other, as if the helmets could kiss at any moment.

Mandalorian 1: No, this will be a happy ending where we lived for our honor. Warrior, all this stolen time and we waste it. Let us use the rest of our time. Our story will not end in one of us falling by our blasters. It will end in the way it should have.

Mandalorian 2: Yes, my love.

Mandalorian 2 turns around and sticks his rear out.

Mandalorian 2: Start my engine.

Mandalorian 1: As you wish.

Mandalorian 1 slaps Mandalorian 2 on what seems to be the rear but it’s to activate his jetpack. Mandalorian 2 zips up in the air. White smoke permeates the air around them.

Mandalorian 1 slaps on his jetpack and joins Mandalorian 2 in the air.

Mandalorian 2: I’ve been waiting for this for a lifetime.

Mandalorian 1: I’ve been waiting for this too.

They clank into each other in the air. Clank, clank, clank.

Baby Yoda watching the holo of two fully armored Mandalorians jetpacking and chastely clanking each other in the air.

The Mandalorian slapping it off.

The Mandalorian: That’s inappropriate for babies! You’re not supposed to see this… until you’re 500? Oh no, this will haunt his development for centuries! What have I done?

Just your average ADHD film and theatre writer who loves pasta.

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